Sobering Up in All Forms:

Staying Sober During the Holidays with The Maximalist Muse

The holidays are a time of joy, celebration, and indulgence. For many, they’re also a time of stress, reflection, and temptation. When you're on a sober journey—whether from alcohol, toxic relationships, or self-destructive habits—this season can feel especially challenging. As someone who spent 5 years trying to get sober and the last two on a hard-won sobriety journey, I understand the pressure that comes with navigating a world that seems obsessed with excess, especially during the holidays. But staying sober is not just possible—it’s empowering. Let’s explore how to maintain your resolve, find joy in the season, and emerge stronger than ever.

The Holiday Struggle: Why It’s Hard to Stay Sober

1. Cultural Norms Around Alcohol and Celebration
   The holidays often revolve around alcohol: from toasts at family dinners to spiked eggnog at parties. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 40% of drinkers in the U.S. say they drink more during the holidays. This cultural norm can make those of us who abstain feel left out or pressured to “join in the fun.”

   When I first started my sobriety journey, the holidays were a major challenge. It felt like every time I turned around, there was another drink being advertised, a party being thrown, or a toast being made. I couldn’t escape the constant reminders of how intertwined alcohol had become with holiday celebrations. It seemed like no matter where I went, the world was encouraging me to indulge. It wasn’t just about saying no to a drink—it was about trying to navigate an entire season that revolved around what I was actively walking away from.

2. Stress and Emotional Triggers
   The holidays can also bring emotional challenges—family dynamics, financial stress, or feelings of loneliness. A study published by the American Psychological Association reports that 38% of people experience higher levels of stress during the holiday season. In the past, I found myself tempted to use alcohol as a way to “take the edge off” or escape difficult emotions. Sobriety demands we confront these feelings head-on—a daunting but rewarding task.

   It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey to sobriety is deeply personal. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. In the early stages, I had to recognize that breaking old habits—especially around a challenging time like the holidays—was going to be tough. But I also knew it was worth it. Every small victory, whether it was getting through a family gathering without a drink or finding joy in new traditions, helped me build confidence in my ability to live fully without alcohol.

3. Missing out on all the action
   It's easy to feel like you're missing out when you're sober at holiday gatherings. Social media is filled with images of people sipping champagne, and holiday marketing often equates alcohol with fun. But trust me, this is an illusion. True enjoyment comes from being present in the moment—not from numbing it.

   In the beginning, sobriety felt like deprivation. Something early on that I spent a lot of time being angry about. I used alcohol as a way to forget things happening in my life, to escape when the weight of it all felt too heavy. It was my go-to for smoothing out the edges of a hard day or silencing the noise of my own thoughts. So, when I found myself at holiday gatherings, standing there with my sparkling water while friends and family seemed to be having the time of their lives, I questioned my decision. Was I missing out on something essential?

But as the days turned into months, I began to see the truth: I wasn’t missing out—I was finally showing up. I was learning to be present, to sit with whatever came up without running from it. In this process, I discovered new layers of resilience and gratitude, finding joy in moments I once overlooked. Sobriety was teaching me to embrace life, not escape from it.

Tips for Staying Sober During the Holidays

1. Set Boundaries and Have a Plan
   Before heading into any holiday event, prepare mentally. Will there be alcohol? Who will be there, and how do they make you feel? If you feel that a particular event will challenge your sobriety, it’s okay to say no or leave early. Setting clear boundaries and giving yourself permission to put your well-being first is crucial. Some people also find it helpful to bring a sober companion—a friend who will support you and keep you accountable.

2. Create Your Own Rituals
   The holidays are filled with traditions, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create new ones. Perhaps instead of the typical alcohol-fueled parties, you could host a cozy holiday mocktail night. You can celebrate in style without compromising your commitment to sobriety. I’ve been making my own non-alcoholic mulled wine for the last three years and it been wonderful to look forward to sharing the recipe with others during the holidays.

3. Mindful Drinking and Mocktail Alternatives
   Having something delicious in your hand can make all the difference at social gatherings. Try non-alcoholic options like kombucha, sparkling water with a dash of apple cider vinegar, or a refreshing espresso martini mocktail. Check out the seasonal mocktails I’ve created—perfect for holiday celebrations! Preparing a few of these ahead of time gives you a tasty, elegant alternative that keeps you feeling part of the fun.

4. Practice Self-Care and Rest
   The holidays can be busy, but they’re also a great time to slow down and reflect. Prioritize self-care by carving out moments for yourself: take a bath, read a book, or spend time journaling. Making time for personal rituals not only helps keep you centered but reminds you why you chose sobriety in the first place. You might also create a vision board or engage in mindful crafting (like one of my favorite DIY holiday wreaths) to channel your creativity.

5. Be Honest with Yourself and Others
   If you feel comfortable, let people know about your sobriety. Most people will be supportive and understanding, and those who aren’t may reveal themselves as potential sources of toxicity. Honesty about your journey can also inspire others to reconsider their own habits or be more inclusive of sober-friendly activities at holiday gatherings.

6. Reach Out for Support
   Remember, you’re not alone. The holiday season is particularly tough for people in recovery, but support is everywhere. Whether it’s an online sobriety group, a therapist, or a trusted friend, make sure you have a support system in place. Platforms like Tempest and Sober Grid offer online communities where you can connect with others who are also staying sober through the season. These spaces can be a lifeline when you need a reminder of why you’re on this journey.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned on this path is that sobriety is a journey. It’s not about getting to a place where everything is easy and temptation no longer exists. Instead, it’s about choosing, every day, to live in alignment with who you truly are. That means some days are harder than others, especially during the holidays. But it also means that every challenge you overcome strengthens your resolve AND should absolutely be celebrated!

Changing habits is hard, and moving away from something that once brought comfort—especially during a time of year that can be filled with stress—is even harder. But I’ve come to realize that the discomfort is part of the process. Sobriety doesn’t mean being perfect; it means showing up for yourself, even when it’s difficult.

Reframing Sobriety as Empowerment

For me, the most significant shift in staying sober during the holidays was reframing my mindset. Instead of seeing sobriety as a limitation, I began viewing it as an act of empowerment. I was showing up as my full, authentic self—clear-headed, present, and engaged in life. Choosing sobriety meant choosing to experience every moment, both the highs and the lows, fully awake.

When we strip away the distractions and the numbing agents, we discover that we don’t need alcohol—or any other unhealthy behavior—to enjoy life. We learn to trust ourselves, to navigate challenges, and to celebrate without losing control.

Embrace Your Maximalist Muse

This holiday season, I encourage you to embrace the power of living sober. Yes, it’s challenging, (I’m right there with you) but it’s also a celebration of your resilience, strength, and ability to create joy on your own terms. Let’s toast (with a delicious mocktail!) to the freedom and clarity that comes with choosing a life fully lived—without alcohol. You’re not alone in this journey, and there’s a world of support waiting to help you succeed.

xoxo Rhiannon

Sources:

1. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) - Holiday Drinking Study: CAMH Research on Alcohol Consumption

2. Canadian Mental Health Association - Holiday Stress Statistics: CMHA Holiday Stress Report

3. Tempest - Virtual Sobriety School: Tempest Sobriety Program

4. Sober Grid - International Sober Community App: Sober Grid